Have you ever asked yourself; what a realistic and healthy relationship looks like to you?
Take away all of what you read about on social media or what you see on the TV, take away other peoples opinions and views. What does a realistic and healthy relationship look like to you? To me, it looks completely different now to how I used to see it.
A healthy relationship is built on asking all the right questions in the beginning, not being afraid of coming off “too much too soon”. It’s knowing each others intentions and trusting the vibes they are giving to you rather than the idea you’re making up of them in your over thinking mind. A healthy relationship is made up of two individuals that know themselves, own themselves and show up for themselves. Two individuals that have the same core values; to love themselves first before they love each other.
When both individuals make a pact to love themselves first before anything, both cups will be filled up and over flowing. If only one cup is filled up, this person will be pouring into the other persons cup and leaving their own cup empty and drained. There will be times when one persons cup won’t be filled and they’ll need some help but the core value is to get back to filling your own cup.
A healthy relationship is good communication, it’s learning to discuss rather than argue and scream down the place. It’s understanding that both will have different views and opinions but respecting them and not judging them, which allows for them to be honest and open at all times. It’s communicating each others needs rather than expecting the other person to already know what you need in every moment. It’s understanding each others love languages and loving your partner in THEIR love language, not in your own. It’s having boundaries so that you don’t bleed each other dry and respect each others limits.
It’s two people being able to fully trust one another and not projecting past relationship fears onto them. (Healing yourself before you get into another relationship is ideal). It’s going out with friends, having separate lives and having time apart to miss each other- to make it more exciting and magical. Not relying on each other for happiness, but enhancing each other when together.
It’s being loyal and consistent to one another, no matter what storms they go through, they always remember their core values and their WHY. And then there’s lots of laughs, fun, great sex, making effort and just making a really SAFE place for one another to be completely themselves. A healthy relationship can only happen if both individuals are committed to making it healthy, they both have to be committed to their healing and growth as individuals and not dependant on one another.
Whenever I hear people speaking about their relationship problems, I notice that one of them (if not both) have stopped doing the things that usually makes them happy and are now relying on their partner to fulfil what they aren’t giving to themselves. Energy between two people can change so fast when they both love themselves. Whenever I have become needy and dependant in my past relationships I’ve noticed I was pushed away further, which in turn made me feel worse and even more needy, right? Whenever I love and show up for myself consistently the energy I get back reflects that. I am still learning so much about myself and my relationships. It has been amazing to observe myself through my healing and self love journey and how differently I show up in all of what I just spoke about, now. Also some of these techniques can be used with any relationships, not just romantic ones- which is a good place to practice if you are single (like me) lol! No but… I’m excited for my next relationship because I know I’m going into it with an open mind, heart and awareness, you know? It hits different when you can SEE through healed eyes.
Sasha xoxox